And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me. Thank YOU so much for your encouraging emails and Facebook posts!!! Since I began this process, I have noticed a difference in the compassion I show to myself, and how much more that helps me connect with my kids.
We are all feeling a lot more overall peace. They're a life line when I really need support during a rough patch. Thank you so much for this great advice! You give me ideas for how I can "do it better" and that lifts me up with hope and positivity too! Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you.
Free weekly inspiration in your inbox. Give yourself the support you need, to be the parent you want to be. Back to top. Question Hi Dr. Answer 14 months is a big transition. Like: 1. So, for instance: Buy the clear knob covers for the stove knobs. Find a high shelf for your laptop when you aren't using it. And don't use it around him. That's a disconnection that signals to him he isn't safe, and that prompts him to act up or whine to get your attention.
Put a babylock on the cupboard under the sink if that's where you keep cleaning supplies, and move breakables up high. Put pans and plastic and dishtowels in low cupboards. Let him tear them out every single day, and just clean up a couple times a day. In your bedroom and the bathroom, have a drawer or basket that is just for him to explore while you're getting washed or dressed. Rotate cool stuff into it. Let him pull the pile of diapers down. Make a game out of restacking them and knocking them down again.
If you do that over and over one day, he will probably leave it alone most of the time from then on. Make sure that at least one room of your house is completely safe so he can explore to his heart's content, without you having to "spot" him. Remember that he is no longer a baby who can happily watch while you do housework. He needs to be involved. Let him "wash" the floor with a wet sponge. Give him a spray bottle and a rag and let him clean the cupboards.
Get a safety tower so he can stand with you at the kitchen counter or sink and cut bananas with a plastic knife, "wash" plasticware in the sink, play with a bowl of dried beans, pour rice from one container to another, etc.
Give him LOTS of opportunity to explore. Toddlers get bored sitting around the house and start tearing things apart. Take him on walks and let him look for worms and dig in the dirt. Go to the library. Find a grand building with steps he likes, and go up and down the steps fifty times. If you have a yard, get him a sandbox and wading pool.
And of course, there are plenty of fun activities for home. Make playdoh. Let him fingerpaint in the bathtub. There are many wonderful ideas for toddler play on my Pinterest board. And this article has Toddler Play ideas that your child can do without much supervision!
Make sure his life is not mostly about frustration and limits, but about fun, exciting exploration. Some children act out when they're hungry, overtired, or frustrated from being cooped up inside, says Harvey Karp, M. Certain situations and times of day might also trigger bad behavior. One of the biggest culprits is transitioning from one activity to the next waking up, going to bed, stopping play to eat dinner.
Give your child a heads-up so they're more prepared to switch gears "After you build one more block tower, we will be having dinner".
If you say "no" 20 times per day, it will lose its effectiveness. Separate bad behaviors into high, medium, and low priority—and expend most of your energy on the worst offenders. If you ignore a minor infraction like your toddler screaming whenever you check your email they'll eventually stop doing it because they'll see that it doesn't get a rise out of you. Define what's important to you, set limits accordingly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Then ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the "who cares?
Some misbehavior is preventable —as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance. Moving your expensive jewelry from the nightstand, for example, will eliminate temptation to play with it. Along those same lines, go to a restaurant early so your family doesn't need to wait for a table.
And if your month-old is prone to grabbing cans off grocery store shelves, bring toys for them to play with in the cart while you're shopping. As a discipline strategy, overt-talking is as ineffective as becoming overly emotional, according to the late William Coleman, M.
While an month-old lacks the cognitive ability to understand complex sentences, a 2- or 3-year-old with more developed language skills still lacks the attention span to absorb what you're saying. Instead, try speaking in brief sentences, such as "No hitting. We shouldn't be doing that. There's no timetable as to how many incidents and reprimands it will take before your child stops a certain misbehavior. But if you always respond the same way, they'll probably learn their lesson after four or five times.
Parents distract and redirect their toddlers all day long, but the key is sticking with it. Even if your child unrolls the entire toilet paper roll for the tenth time in one day, calmly remove them from the bathroom and close the door.
Eventually they'll forget about it! Your toddler should learn the natural outcomes of their behavior—otherwise known as cause and effect.
For example, if they loudly insist on selecting their pajamas which takes an eternity , then they're also choosing not to read books before bed. Toddlers are very visual, says Szautner, and while words are important, so is modelling the behaviour you want. Consider turn taking, for example.
As egocentric as toddlers are, they still want to please you. Complimenting your son when he comes to the table the first time you ask not only shows him what good behaviour is, it also reinforces your bond. Do you want to go to the couch with me and calm down? They are not developmentally there yet. And this method sends the message that hitting, for example, is OK as long as she apologizes afterward.
Of course there are situations where a firm no coupled with swift action is called for; when your child reaches for your mug of hot coffee or walks toward the road. But save no for when you really need it. How to do It : Give one last warning and again, connect with respect. Ask your child if he wants a time-out for continuing X behavior. You want your child to learn a time-out is something he is doing to himself, not something you do to him.
He always has a choice! Then only go on to give the time out if he does not stop. In the beginning, you just want them to understand that ignoring rules will lead to a moment of isolation. For older kids, you will want to set a timer and you may need to confine them to a playpen or their room.
As a general rule, a time-out should last one minute per year of age. When time is up and the fit is over , ask if he is calm and ready to come back…. Right afterward, you want to reconnect with him and forgive—another skill you want to teach him! Later in the day, you can revisit what happened, use my gossiping technique or even create your own bedtime story to reinforce your message. How it works : Simple! Take away an object or a privilege. For example, if your toddler hits a friend with a toy bat, take away the bat and end the play date.
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