In addition to seeking self-discovery, a person might cheat because they're afraid of getting older , feel stressed out, or are unhappy with their lives, INSIDER reported. Lundquist said family history or childhood insecurities can play a role in infidelity too.
Once the cheater determines why they cheated and shares that information with their partner, they can discuss whether they want to resolve the issues. Though there isn't a formula for rebuilding lost trust, working together on a solution can help a couple get there. Typically, the cheater has to do the majority of the work to understand their motivations and rebuild the broken relationship, but the person who has been cheated on plays an important role too.
According to Lundquist, a person's dissatisfaction with their sex life can cause them to stray from the relationship. In that case, it's important for both parties to understand how they can support each other and move forward. At the same time, Lundquist says the reason for cheating is usually more complicated than bad sex and the cheater will have to come to terms with more deeply rooted issues. Is this relationship for you?
Lastly, the person who was cheated on shouldn't feel rushed into forgiving their partner. Offering immediate forgiveness, however, can result in resentment and perpetuate issues with the relationship. Instead, both parties must take time to heal. Nonetheless, if you have an entire family unit to consider—and that family is important to both of you—it's certainly worth a pause. Nelson says. But of course, she enforces if you're not good parents together, don't make the kids responsible for saving a marriage.
Successful coparenting still can happen without partnered parents. In any relationship, you tend to see a person's best and worst side, right? It's why even if you love someone with the intensity of 10, suns, they can really, really drive you crazy sometimes.
But if you have a history of not holding grudges and apologizing the right way , there's a chance you'll be able to bounce back from something of this magnitude. If you're willing to think about the whole of your relationship and the solid foundation you've built it upon being stronger than the weight of this transgression, that's a good sign you'll be able to move forward.
When a couple is able to see the bigger picture—the past, present, and future—they are able to realign and get back on track. It sounds super-obvious, but if both partners still love each other and want to give this a fair shot, that's an important and meaningful place to start. So if you recognize that you both love each other and want to start over, consider it a welcome opportunity to try couples therapy to work on improving lines of communication and respecting each other.
We have a few answers as to why people might cheat in the first place. Can a cheater be forgiven? It's up to that someone who was cheated on however it's important to remember that forgiveness is a strength. It takes a lot of work to rebuild trust in a relationship, and occasionally a partner may feel they don't want to forgive. If they don't want to forgive, it can be difficult to move forward. The relationship won't go "back to normal" because this is a traumatic experience.
Ultimately, it's up to both people to decide how to move forward. Forgiving your partner won't necessarily be easy, but it may be worth it to salvage the relationship. You don't have to forgive your partner and move on after being cheated on, even if your partner pressures you to do so. You have the right to feel your emotions. Some people believe that unfaithful behavior isn't something that stops and that once you cheat, it becomes a pattern. It could bring up further questions about relationships, such as do people change?
These individuals may say you shouldn't because they'll hurt you again. There are no right answers. Many people believe that a relationship is fixable if you work on the problems and forgive. And that may be true for some couples. But for others, cheating may be a deal-breaker. It depends on the situation and the people involved. You have to ask yourself if it's worth it. There's no definitive answer as to whether you should forgive a cheater.
It's up to you to make that decision to forgive and it's important to remember that forgiveness is a strength. You need to think long and hard about what you want out of a relationship. Ask yourself if you want to take a risk on this someone once the trust has been broken. It's not wrong to do. You might sense that this was a one-time thing and be able to forgive them. Forgiving a cheater is undoubtedly taking a leap of faith and trusting someone who burned you, but it could be worthwhile.
If you let go of this and forgive, you could cultivate a wonderful long-lasting relationship. Do people change? Some individuals want to work on themselves and do better, while others are stuck in toxic or dysfunctional patterns. Some people have substance abuse issues and struggle with addiction. They can get better if they're dedicated to treatment. Forgiving a cheater is trusting that someone wants to change. Only time will tell if that individual is serious about modifying their behavior.
You don't have to forgive a cheater if you're uncomfortable with the idea. You may have an intuitive sense that they'll hurt you again. You don't want to take the risk on them, knowing that they could hurt your heart. Your wellbeing is what matters the most. If you feel like your partner isn't going to change, or doesn't have the desire to make these behavioral shifts, you have the right to move on.
You may love your partner dearly, and still cheat on them. It could be that the relationship became mundane, and you feel unfulfilled. Maybe you're not happy with your emotional connection, or the physical intimacy isn't satisfying. Part of being loved is also feeling understood. Some people engage in emotional cheating. That sort of cheating can be more painful than a physical affair. If you choose to be unfaithful by forming an intimate romantic bond with someone besides your partner, that is considered emotional cheating.
That could make your partner feel extremely devalued because they don't feel like you love them. If you forgive a cheater, it shows that you have faith in that someone. You may believe it was a one-time thing. Perhaps your partner explained the reason behind the cheating. You get why they did it, and so do they.
They've promised that they will work on themselves in therapy and make an effort in the relationship with you. You can forgive a cheater, and stop labeling them that. That's another aspect of moving forward. If you're always calling them out for being unfaithful or throwing it in their face, you can forgive a cheater, that makes them feel like they have no choice.
You need to humanize your partner. Remember that people make mistakes. Your partner may not have wanted to hurt you. Perhaps, with time, they'll see why they were unfaithful and can explain it to you. It's up to you whether you chose to move on or not. It may be worth it, and you could live a long, happy, faithful life together. If you're hurt after your partner cheated on you, that's normal.
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